Conflict
Okay - so now that you've brainstormed words, feelings, emotions etc. associated with conflict it is time to blog about them. You have three tasks:
1. Create an initial blog post that discusses what you know about conflict. This should be about 250 to 500 words. You may want to give an example of something you have experienced or observed. I'd also like you to include your reactions to conflict or what you have observed in others, the emotions and feelings that lead up to conflict, the emotions and feelings that are present with conflict, and emotions and feelings associated with unresolved as well as resolved conflict. (25 pts)
2. Comment on the blogs posted by at least 2 other classmates. Preferably to those individuals you do not have close friendships with. Please be thoughtful and positive. You comments must be 50 to 100 words. The idea here is to extend the conversation. Find a way to relate to the post, ask a question, make a connection, empathize etc. (25 pts)
3. Conflict is often associated with negativity; is that always the case. Please discuss in about 100 words. (25 pts)
Grades: Based on the effort that you put into the assignment.
Conflict is to come into a disagreement or clash with another person. Conflict can be emotional or physical thing that have the potential to inflict a lot of harm to others. Most of the conflict that is cause can be resolved with a simple discussion. However many people might feel as if they don’t want to resolve it because they need to feel as if their right. People have a lot of pride in being right and not looking dumb in front of others. However is pride really worth more than having friends? Many conflicts happen around the teenage girl, they believe that no one talks about the when they all talk about each other. They turn their backs to people who have the courage to tell them to their face. They are selfish and only think about judging people. Judging one and other has to be one of the main reasons that people have conflict, we are quick to judge and never really get to know each other. In a world where there was no conflict we would all be very peaceful and extremely bored. People watch conflict for entertainment purposes. In Rome, they use to force animals to fight to the death so people could watch. Again in today’s society we like watching wfc and when hockey players fight because we find that more interesting than that actual thing happening. Conflict can be a big as a cheating spouse or minor disagreement, but no matter what there are many sides to a conflict. To solve a conflict there are 5 simple steps to resolving. 1. To approach the person or people you are having this disagreement with and explain what is concerning you. 2. Listen to the other person side and repeat back to them what they told you so you understand. 3. Clarify the issues. 4. Discuss solutions that benefit both parties. 5. Bring closure to the conflict. Once bringing closure make sure that you both agreed on something that will make it less likely to have the same conflict again. -Jenna Weselowski
ReplyDeleteHi Jenna,
DeleteThanks for the response. I like the way you included historical examples of people watching conflict for entertainment as well as contemporary examples. I wonder what influence encouraging individuals to watch conflict for entertainment has on the amount of conflict we see in society? What do you think? What do others think? - Mrs. Larson
Conflict is a disagreement between certain parties involved, who feel that their needs and interests being threatened. A significant cause of conflict is misunderstanding, which can exaggerate the problem. If there was greater understanding of the areas causing the most grief, it would be easier to manage the areas of disagreement. Conflict can be far more complex than some people may realize. Ongoing relationships, emotional components, and psychological needs all have to be addressed in order to resolve any sort of disagreements. Bickering and arguing indicate someone who is unskilled at handling conflicts in a collaborative way. Not speaking up and going silent about issues is also not a very wise way to deal with difficult situations. When people sense some sort of a disagreement, they feel uncomfortable, and can express negative emotions which can just provoke conflict. Talking together can help people open up to each other in a friendly way, and they can try and help the other to understand why they are feeling the way they are. Fighting, and getting mad can cause less understanding of the situation and the only way to find a solution is with power. Some people avoid causing a potentially hurtful fights by giving up what they want, causing the person to be left feeling sad and depressed. A common response to conflict is the flight. Escaping the dilemma by busying themselves with some other distraction, such as an obsessive-compulsive habit. To resolve a conflict you first have to recognize that a conflict exists. A good indicator that a conflict is present is if you begin feeling irritated and tense. When resolving a conflict it is very important to use a positive tone of voice when bringing up potential conflict, because yelling can cause the other person to feel intimidated and as if they are being attacked. You always need to find a mutually agreeable solution. Agreement can come when the two people involved in a conflict create a plan of action that includes way to meet both people’s needs. Although conflict seems to only cause negativity and stress in the world, there really wouldn’t be a world without it. Values such as culture, life experience and family traditions are all formed from what people believe is right and wrong. Conflict leads to new ways of thinking, and without that, no changes in the world could be possible. Conflict always leads to grow, and makes changes in the world that everyone needs to embrace, and change with open minds.
ReplyDeleteTracey Tiani
I find this post very accurate! You used great examples in explaining how conflict can be both positive and negative but we really wouldn't have anything without it so we just kind of have to deal with it. You used good descriptive words to make the topic pop a lot more. I like you're opinion on how it helps but is yet frustrating and yea.. - Kyla Douglas
DeleteHi Tracey,
DeleteThanks for an insightful post; I like how you discuss the early warning signs of conflict - "feeling irritated and tense". I'd like you to think more about the idea that a person with conflict is experiencing unmet needs.
Cheers,
TLL
1) Conflict to me is completely useless. Since it takes two people to have conflict, the two should just be civil and grown up about it. Work it out, or leave each other alone.
ReplyDelete2) A fight is more physical, and more damaging then an argument. If you get into a fight, it’s more likely that it will become aggressive and become physical. Arguments are quite often the reason for fighting. Arguments if they end well, the two involved aren’t mad or don’t not like each other but will move on from that topic.
3) Some conflicts can result in violence due to someone thinking that their words aren’t making enough of a point anymore. They’re aggression isn’t being taken seriously and they need to show exactly how angry they are.
4) Personally, I physically get sick. My stomach hurts, my eyes sting, and I get a feeling that something is not right. When the person I’m in conflict with wont talk to me so I can attempt to make things better I just get angry and say things I don’t mean and dig myself further and further into the hole I’ve made myself and drive them farther away. Regularly I don’t think everything is my fault, again, it takes two.
5) I can’t bring myself to think of any “good” conflicts.
6) A conflict can end on good terms if the two people decide that way. Make or break mentality is used by a lot of people in the event of a conflict. “this can either make our friendship/relationship/acquaintanceship stronger, or it will tear us apart.
7) If I resolve my own conflicts, and it pans out the way I want it to, I feel like I’m always on my toes to make sure I don’t repeat the thing that started the conflict, and if its started by someone else, I try to keep a good distance from them, but not a big enough distance to alarm anyone.
8) I haven’t learned from any of my conflicts, if I did, I would let go of a lot of people who create them on a daily basis.
9) I don’t have a conflict that matches that description.
10) A world without conflict would be very cut and dry. Conflict is used to bring light to something that isn’t being acknowledged. By humans creating conflict, women have rights, native cultures have more recognition, not the most but there is still some respect for them. Conflict has done both bad and good for society but, there wouldn’t be so much freedom for anyone if there wasn’t any.
11) Can’t get rid of it, why would you? Sure if it doesn’t work out in your favor it sucks, but its healthy to protect what you believe and it’s also good to accept others opinions and views.
Ameryllis Braun
Conflict is both good and bad but I like how you're very open with you're opinion but if you really think about it where would we be with out it? You have good answers and descriptive ways of answering these questions as well. The way you put how theres no way to get rid of conflict is true but you pretty much just have to make the best out of it and learn from it. -Kyla Douglas
DeleteGood point of view. I find this slightly contradicting as to how you stated in the beginning you stated "conflict is useless" and ended it on a different note. None the less, you stated some really good facts as to how if we didn't have conflict women wouldn't have rights and cultures wouldn't have recognition as they do today. I hope you find ways to learn from dealing with conflict as you grow. I relate to feeling like that at one point in my life, feeling like I was treading really deep water. Overall I generally enjoyed your opinion on this topic!
DeleteGood point of view. I find this slightly contradicting as to how you stated in the beginning you stated "conflict is useless" and ended it on a different note. None the less, you stated some really good facts as to how if we didn't have conflict women wouldn't have rights and cultures wouldn't have recognition as they do today. I hope you find ways to learn from dealing with conflict as you grow. I relate to feeling like that at one point in my life, feeling like I was treading really deep water. Overall I generally enjoyed your opinion on this topic -Brittany Semotiuk (I forgot to put my name above, sorry!)
DeleteHi Amerylis,
DeleteI'm wondering if a conflict could ever be violent right from the start? If so, what factors would lead to a person always dealing with conflict in a violent way?
Cheers,
TLL
Conflict to me is something that could be violent or just verbal, conflict usually starts from an argument like disagreeing with someone. A fight and an argument are pretty close to the same thing but can be different a fight usually involves physical violence or a lot more screaming while conflict can be anything from a small disagreement to a huge fight resulting in yelling and crying ect. Conflicts can become violent by taking an argument too far or one person becoming really defensive. Conflicts are not always bad they can also be positive for example like a protest, people protest against companies or organizations hoping for a positive result and sometimes that is just what they get. When a conflict isn’t worked out you can become upset or frustrated with the issue but a lot of the times you just have to put up with the outcome and do your best to work with it. When you’ve resolved a conflict or problem you usually feel successful and proud of what you have succeeded because it has resulted in something you like. A conflict that has helped me learn something in life is when I was skipping school a lot and I had to talk to my teachers and argue with my parents about why I was skippinh and how much my grades would go down i learned that its more worth going to school and finishing it then to fail and go nowhere in life even though I was arguing in the beginning I learned something from a small conflict. A conflict that ive had that has improved something in the long run could be like the time my parents made me get my first job I really didn’t want one but now that vie had it I have more work experience and most likely to exceed more when looking for my next job. There couldn’t be a world without conflict there’s always going to be conflict sometimes we actually need conflict to teach us lessons and help our society grow. Conflict is a fact of life if we can’t make it go away we need to learn how to deal with it and make it something positive depending on the situation. Conflicts are not always good but without conflict there would be no law, no way to resolve our issues or things we don’t like. Conflict is something that will always be around us.
ReplyDeleteKyla Douglas
Agreed! Awesome post! :)
DeleteHi Kyla,
DeleteIt sounds like you have had some positive experiences with conflict. Would you say that conflict is necessary for a person to experience growth?
Cheers,
TLL
Conflict is to either disagree argue with another person, situation, or themselves. There are many types of conflict as you may have heard since you were young. There is Person vs Self, Person vs Person, Person vs Society/World, Person vs Nature. Considering all the types of conflicts, there are different factors that make them different depending on the situation. Lots of people confuse and argument with a fight. I think the two are different to an extent. Arguing can generally stem from a debate or disagreement. A fight is more often than not a physical situation. Conflict can become violent many ways. If you are looking at two people who are in an argument, their ego could get in the way. Especially amongst youth and young adults, people feel the need to get in a physical fight. This could be because they truly want to inflict physical harm on the other person or because they want to have a persona of being “tough” or to show that you wouldn’t want to mess with them.
ReplyDeleteWhen you look at conflict on a larger scale such as wars, many become violent due to political differences between the societies, or different religions. When conflicts are not worked out, it can be not only detrimental for the parties mainly involved but it can start affecting others around them. Have you ever had two friends fight? You know how that can restrain the friendship over all? How they might try and make you choose sides? If a conflict isn’t resolved you may find situations like that to be common. Conflicts aren’t always bad. It’s normal to disagree with someone, or argue with someone. We all have different interests, different opinions. You most likely will argue with someone who has a different opinion than you do. Just don’t let that affect you to a personal level.
Conflicts also can have a good ending. For example, let’s say you have a friend who seems to be acting weird lately. Maybe they’re ignoring you or ditching you to hang-out with someone else. You are upset over this but you don’t know how to react. You don’t know the full situation but you just feel betrayed and left in the dust. If you talk to them you may figure out they aren’t intending on hurting your feelings. They’re could be many reasons why they stopped hanging out with you, they could be stressed with school/work. Having issues at home or other relationships. Maybe once you talk to each other you can work through it and everything will be fine. Personally, I feel like when there is conflict with someone else and myself, working through it is so much better than the energy it takes to fight with them. Have you ever noticed if you are in a long-term fight with someone over something that probably wasn’t a big deal, how pointless it was to fight? Again with the ego, a lot of people are unwilling to say sorry first because they think that’s being “the bigger person” when in fact it is not. I can say 98% of the conflicts I was in that were resolved, are so much nicer than the 2% which seem like a never ending battle.
Due to a lot of things I did in my past, to what I do now I have learnt a lot about myself and others. I’ve learnt a lot of the people who claim to be your friends, are not your real ones. I’ve learnt that some of the people who have been through horrible things are sometimes the kindest people. I’ve learnt that if you judge someone based off small mutual differences, it doesn’t do anything & isn’t right to do to begin with. I’ve learnt that I can’t depend on others for success and that If I want to succeed, I have to do it myself. I don’t believe conflict will ever cease to exist. I stated earlier how conflict is normal. I believe people who hear the word conflict think of the “worst case scenario” when instead conflict is something as small as disagreeing with someone’s music taste. You can’t make conflict go away, but you can learn how to deal with situations. You can learn how to properly communicate or deal with conflict and to tell yourself not to get worked up on little situations. Communication is key. –Brittany Semotiuk
I so totally agree with this statement! You go girl!
DeleteBrittany,
DeleteI totally agree with the 98% of conflict being resolved being nicer than the 2% of conflicts being a never ending battle. From my experiences in life as well I have learned that you should always have good communication to stay away from conflicts. I was not friends with one of my best friends because of poor communication so we needed up hating each other for a year and a half because of a misunderstanding and no communication.
-Sara Burridge
I really liked how you mentioned the different types of conflicts. I feel like person vs. self is a considerable problem in today's society. There are many people, including myself, that are constantly in a battle with themselves over their weight, hair, acne, etcetera. Society has put a large amount of stress on the way you are supposed to look. I also believe that when conflicts arise that communication is key. Some conflicts can be so simple to solve. Almost all types of conflict can be solved by either talking to the person who is disagreeing with you or at least talking about the problems you are experiencing with yourself or nature. I know from experience that talking about your issues with a trusted friend, family member, or even a teacher I immediately feel a sense of relief and I can move on with my life than dwelling on the situation. I often jump to conclusions when a friend doesn't talk to me or ditches but I realize that they do have stressors in their life that have nothing to do with not liking me. Communication is key! Nice comments. I'm sure a lot can relate.
Delete~Keisha Mckenzie
Hi Brittany,
DeleteThanks for the insightful post. It sounds like you have learned a lot through the conflicts you have dealt with. What is the best way to resolve a conflict?
Cheers,
TLL
1. Conflict is to come into disagreement with or to fight, battle, and struggle for a prolonged period of time. Many people have different definitions of what conflict but for the most part, conflict can range from small, petty arguments, to full out wars between nations. Depending on the reason for the conflict, it will determine how much the conflict will escalate. With the refusal to compromise or find a solution to the conflicts, they will only escalate to a wider range of problems.
ReplyDelete2. A fight is very much different than a common argument. A fight occurs when the conflict reaches the point in which the people in the conflict believe that violence will only resolve it. An argument is easily resolved by talking about it.
3. Conflicts become violent when neither of the people arguing can find compromise. Since they can’t find a compromise, the argument escalates into a fight and the fight turns violent.
4. When a conflict isn’t worked out, it will bug me for days after until I get the closure that I want from it. Either a resolved conflict or closure from the conflict
5. Conflicts aren’t always bad. If a conflict is big enough it could result in changes in your life. Based on the circumstances of the conflict, it could either turn out better or worse for your life.
6. Conflicts can be positive if you find the resolve in the conflict. For the most part, conflicts are only bad if they are left without closure or compromise.
7. I feel like a weight is lifted off of me when I successfully resolved a problem.
8. I once had a conflict with a friend who was having a conflict with another one of my friends. I couldn’t take sides since both people were my friends, and I was stuck in the middle. So the friend I was having a conflict with, became angry with me because I wouldn’t take their side in the argument. So at that point they stopped talking to me. In that I learned that if they were true friends, they wouldn’t have left that conflict unresolved. So I learned to recognize what real friends looked like.
9. Most of the conflicts I’ve been involved in and only the ones that have been resolved have improved the situation in the long run
10. There will never be a world without conflict because it isn’t in human nature to agree with everything we say to each other. There is always going to be conflict either small or on a large scale. The reason for this is because there are too many reasons for conflicts to happen so it will always be one way or another.
11. If it’s a fact of life, the only thing we can do when conflict arises is to try and resolve it. Not all conflicts are going to be resolved but it’s better than leaving it alone.
Rylan Watson
Hi Rylan,
DeleteThanks for a thoughtful response. What steps do you take to resolve a conflict so that the "weight is lifted off" you? What happens if you want to resolve a conflict and the other person does not?
Cheers,
TLL
I have worked at a clothing store since July 2014 and I have learned many things. I now know how to open and close the store although I am not management. I also know how to make deposit bags, count cash, and fold clothes and greet customers to company standards. When I started there were three key holders (as in management ranks) then while I was on holidays they were all terminated for loss prevention reasons and time card fraud. Then a new manager was hired and a sales associate was promoted to assistant manager. The assistant manager was great she was the best manager I have ever had. The manager of the store was great to but then she hired her best friend (I knew this was a bad idea from the start anyway but I’m over it.) A month passed then a team leader was going to be picked I thought I was a shoe in because at this point I knew all closing procedure and I was very good at stock. My manager picked her friend that she hired as the team leader it was totally ridiculous! But over time I got over it even though I knew much more about the company than she did. A few more months pasted and the assistant manager quit the company and I was devastated! She was my favorite manager in the whole world. After that the manager and the team leader fought and were always stressed out. The team leader does not take stress well at all! She started talking down to us and yelling at us for no reason. I finally stood up to the team leader after she made me feel so stupid, I was asking her WHAT sign to put up not WHERE the signs were and after I kept asking WHAT sign to put up she said “are you kidding me right now” and I was totally baffled by this because she was misunderstanding me. Then I just walked away and got a sign I thought would work, then the team leader came into the back and I don’t like looking at people when I am upset with them so I didn’t and she said “what you’re not even going to look at me” and I said “you are being rude to everyone who is working today” then I walked away. 10 to 15 minutes later I was asked to talk to her and she straightened it out but she always gets mad and then apologizes so it doesn’t count to me anymore so now I just say I accept it and get on with my day. A week or so ago I talked with 2 other coworkers of mine to the manager about the problems that have been going on with the team leader. Everything is good so far but I’m just waiting for it to happen again. This is my example of misunderstanding conflict and different opinion conflict.
ReplyDelete- Sara Burridge
lol this is cool
DeleteHi Sara,
DeleteThanks for sharing this situation. It sounds like this workplace conflict has been a very difficult situation for you. I'm wondering what training you get in the workplace to deal with a workplace conflict? How do you feeling about speaking with your team leader about what is bugging you rather than going through the manager?
Cheers,
TLL
Your conflict seems to be a kind where you don’t feel don’t respected. When I am in a situation of conflict where I don’t feel as if I’m getting respected I can sometimes feel as if I’m always getting attacked and that I’m unimportant and there’s no point in me even being there. Perhaps in the moment that the conflict is happening you should confront them, and use the power of repetition to get the point across to them that they need to calm down and try and get them to communicate with you back.
DeleteTracey Tiani
Conflict is a difference in opinion between two or more people. They may think their opinion is the only correct view of the subject being discussed. I look at conflict sometimes like it is a sense of importance. People want to feel like their opinion is heard and is appreciated so they speak up in order to let people know what they are thinking. It often comes out mean as they are hurt no one asked/listened to their opinion. The fellow speaker may feel attacked like their opinion is being labeled incorrect. I have a friend who is constantly arguing over facts and personal opinions. She is continuously telling our group of friends we are incorrect and irrelevant to the certain subject we are discussing. I got so annoyed, but later on realized that she felt left out. We would never specifically start a conversation with her so she would jump in feeling hurt and tell us that our conversation was irrelevant to the discussion or that our opinion was unmindful. Resolving conflict can sometimes be so effortless to solve. On the other hand it can be difficult. There are to many fluctuating circumstances. A person's view could be due to religion, likes, dislikes, past relationships, the way they were raised as a child, and the places and people they meet. Each persons back round is intricate and we could never fully understand why they see things the way they do. It can be excessively annoying but sometimes I think we need to agree to disagree sometimes. I was raised in a Christian home and I believe that a bully should still be loved. People think I'm crazy. I mean it hurts when they well bully you, but most likely that person is hurting and is trying to find a way to deal with it. In my home I was taught that how could god forgive my wrongs if I didn't forgive others. I have come across many who have disagreed and thought that a bully deserved the pain they gave, but due to my beliefs and the way I was raised my view didn't falter. So in certain situations I believe it is better not to start a huge conflict, but rather let one person have their opinion and continue to have your own. I believe if we could just let some fights go that we could all just share more joy in the world than constantly fighting over opinions we have no desire to change. On the other hand there can never be a world without conflict because peace is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it.-uknown
ReplyDeleteKeisha Mckenzie
Hi Keisha,
DeleteIt sounds like you are very perceptive when it comes to identifying what needs may be driving a person's behaviour. Other than avoiding the conflict what other methods of conflict resolution may be helpful?
Cheers,
TLL
I agree with your statement that conflict can just be caused by people wanting to feel important, and how they could just be feeling not respected and unheard. In the past I have experienced conflict between where the person just seems to feel left out, and if they weren’t really important in our circle of friends so it felt as if every conversation with them was tense and if it was just a battle, and the conflict was simply fixed with a little communication.
DeleteTracey Tiani
My definition of conflict is, a dispute between two or more people that can or can't be solved as it depends on the situation. A fight is different than an argument in my eyes because I believe a fight is with physical contact with people, an argument is vocal. Conflicts become violent because one or more people don't get their way and become more angry. I remember a time where I called a friend on their mistake and she got angry with me and tried to hit me because she didn't have her way about it. its not a huge conflict but conflict comes in all shapes and sizes. When a conflict isn't worked out I feel uncomfortable and depends on the situation, angry. Conflicts are not always bad, they can be positive. Like trying to convince a friend to get help, that can turn out positive. When I successfully solved a problem I feel accomplished and thankful it finished. "If conflict is a fact of life, if we cant make it go away what do we do with it?", Well, I think if we can all get along then maybe there wont be much conflict as there is today... but we do know that it wont happen. also without conflict we don't learn from our mistakes. -Amanda Jackson
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda,
DeleteIt sounds like you feel pretty good about yourself when you are able to resolve a conflict. What steps do you take to resolve a conflict when it becomes difficult?
Cheers,
TLL
I agree. When conflicts are solved I feel so much better. When they are left unsolved I feel angry, defeated, and depressed. I never want to make people upset and immediately try to reverse the impact I made on their emotions. What is your advice about people who become violent? Personally, I would leave. I don't think that anyone deserves to be hurt because the other person doesn't know how to control their emotions. At the same time you don't know what that person is going through so you can't completely abandon them either. What are your thoughts? I also really liked how you wrote about conflict as being positive. Your friend may have tried to hit you and once she realizes how hurt you are she can learn that it is not okay to hurt anybody. Our whole lives are about learning from mistakes. In school they give us a lesson and than give us a test. In life they give us a test, often we fail, and than it teaches us a lesson.
Delete~Keisha Mckenzie
Hi Keisha,
DeleteInteresting observation "in life they give us a test, often we fail, and then it teaches us a lesson".
Cheers,
TLL
Some steps I believe are important are;
Delete1) Breathing, because I believe it calms ones self.
2)Talk it out and Understand the others point of view.
3)Brainstorm ideas to resolve the issue.
4)Resolve the Conflict.
:)
That last comment about the steps I believe are important was Amanda Jackson, I forgot to put my name in. lol
DeleteNo conflict is not always associated with negativity, sometimes conflict is good and can result positively. Conflict is something that we as a society need to grow and learn. Conflict a lot of the times can be negative depending on the situation like for example if you are in a fist fight it is a negative conflict but things like a debate or protest are positive to a certain side in the result, Yes there is still some negativity in a protest or debate but usually the outcome is the more positive side. So in my opinion we wouldn’t be able to live without conflict, it is a huge learning process of our society. KYLA
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reply Kyla. I wonder why some people try to avoid conflict?
DeleteCheers,
TLL
I agree, we wouldn't be able to live without conflict, where would we be if no one learned from them? Conflict is an important piece of communication and without it I believe we would be a mess.- Amanda Jackson
DeleteI personally believe a lot of people associate conflict to negativity only. As much as conflict may come across as negative it doesn’t mean that’s what the outcome will be. Some people learn and grow from conflict, some relationships get stronger. On the other hand, sometimes it’s the opposite. Conflict isn’t just a huge argument, a fight, or a war. Conflict can be anything starting at a simple disagreement. Generally conflict is normal, we can’t get rid of it. I think the biggest thing people need to know is how to deal with conflict maturely. You're attitude can change conflict that once may not have been as bad, to something beyond that. We learn from our past, conflict is normally a part of that. -Brittany S
ReplyDeleteHi Brittany,
DeleteI wonder why some people associate negativity with conflict? Or why do they avoid conflict at all costs?
Cheers,
TLL
Conflict is when two or more people don’t like what another person or people have done. There are four different types of conflict person verses person, person verses self, person verses society, and person verses supernatural. Something that you can do to solve any of these that happen is to talk them or someone you trust so you know what to do about it. There are steps you can take to solve a problem talk to the person and get them to tell you why they did what they did and tell it back to them or tell them why you did what you did. Get them or you depending on who talked first to repeat what you or they said so they know and understand what you said and you understand what they say. My friend and I have been in many fight but we always talk over what we are mad at each other about then we know what not to do again so we don’t get each other mad again. I am slowly learning how to not live with my mom, I live with my auntie we have gotten into some pretty heavy fight I’ve said thing that I really didn’t mean but thankfully after a little while we talked through it and she has slowly started to forgive me about what I said. Having theses fight made me feel horrible and sick to my stomach because I thought they would hate me forever, once we talk these problems through and they understood why I said what I said and I understood what they said I felt relieved, and thankful that they loved me enough to talk to me and understand. By Katrina gohl
ReplyDeleteHi Katrina,
DeleteThanks for sharing your experience. As you mention sometimes conflict can make us feel physically sick ... which is another reason it is helpful to learn how to resolve conflict. Sometimes stuffing our feelings inside and letting the conflict build up to the point of explosion is related to the physical feelings of illness. Perhaps dealing with the source of the conflict sooner might be more helpful? Some families will have a weekly family meeting to talk about issues that come up before they get to the boiling point.
Cheers,
TLL
BreeAnna
ReplyDelete1. Everyone has a different definition of conflict, because not everyone has the same experiences with conflict. A basic definition of conflict is a problem or disagreement occurring between one or more people. Because you can have internal conflict, dealing with oneself. But conflict can be very different, and may become violent. My definition of conflict is when there is a discrepancy between any amount of people.
2. A fight can be very different from an argument. When I think of a fight I tend to think more physical violence. While an argument is more of a loud discussion. I also think an argument can happen between anyone over anything, and a fight tends to be more with people who dislike each other.
3. I think conflicts become violent because of fear and misguidance. They seem to escalate because one person is scared of what the other may do. And they may misunderstand what the other is saying or doing and base their decisions solely on that, leading them to be misguided.
4. When a conflict isn’t worked out I tend to feel mixed emotions, it depends entirely on the situation. If I have a conflict with someone like my sister if it isn’t resolved right away it doesn’t bother me because I know we’ll move on from it. But if it’s with a friend I usually feel bad and I keep trying to resolve conflict. So we don’t continue to be angry.
5. I don’t think conflicts are always bad, I fell like sometimes a conflict needs to happen in order to make things better.
6. I think conflicts can be positive and have good endings. I feel that with every conflict we deal with we grow and better ourselves.
7. When I have successfully resolved a problem, I feel awesome. Because I know I did something that was good.
8. A conflict that helped me learn something about myself or other people would be one I had with my sister. It helped me learn to better control what I say and how I react when I get mad. And I learned that some people just like to make other people angry or frustrated.
9. Conflict that I’ve experienced that have actually improved the situation in the long run was one that happen last year in my 4-H club, we got new leaders who improved upon what the other leaders were doing.
10. I don’t think there could be a world without conflict. Conflict seems to move us and push us forward. It help us advance as a whole.
11. Conflict is a fact of life I think we just need to find ways to deal with it in a positive manner.
Hi BreeAnna,
DeleteThanks for your post. I find it interesting how you distinguish between a conflict with a family member - like your sister and one with a friend. It sounds like the way you deal with conflicts depends on the situation/person (which is normal).
What are some of the positive ways that you deal with conflict?
Cheers,
TLL
BreeAnna,
DeleteI agree with so many things about your post. I believe that no matter the conflict, whether it be a fight or an argument, communication is key. If the parties present in the conflict take time to talk things out and make sure that they understand each other’s side of the story, the conflict would be preventable. Great post, I loved all the information you provided.
-Sydney
Most people think conflict is negativity. Conflicts are only negative on the way you try and deal with the problem. If you deal with the problem with a bad attitude then the outcome will be negative but if u deal with it head on and try and have a good attitude and have yourself set to fix the problem that you have you will be able to walk away with it solved. Most of the time people are not sure how to approach the problem so they don’t bother to try and fix it. You just have to ask why? By Katrina Gohl
ReplyDeleteHi Katrina,
DeleteYour post shows insight into why some people have trouble resolving conflicts ... they do not know how. I wonder if also people do not try to resolve conflicts because they have only ever experienced conflict as negative?
Cheers,
TLL
Conflict is not always because something negative has happened, conflict can happen by people wanting different things like two friends have different opinions on where they should go for dinner. One friend wants to go to Japanese Village and the other friend wants to go to the Keg, they can decide which one they want and that’s a conflict without being negative. I think people associate conflict with negativity because like 90% of the time when people get involved with a conflict its over someone talking smack about someone else, or like someone stealing someone’s boyfriend/ girlfriend. Honestly it’s your choice to make it negative or not, it depends on your actions and how you react. If you find out your boyfriend cheated on you instead of punching him in the face and lighting all his stuff on fire, just be done with him leave him and she can have him. I know it’s easier said than done but, why cause a big scene when you can be the bigger person and make that person look stupid by not reacting the way they wanted you to.
ReplyDeleteCarly Woods
Thanks for your comment Carly. I wonder what would lead a person to "punching him in the face and lighting all his stuff on fire"? What needs would be met by that behaviour?
DeleteCheers,
TLL
Katrina,
ReplyDeleteYou very interesting views on conflict. I 100% agree that if you talk it out conflict can be stopped in its tracks. When I get in conflicts I also begin to feel sick. It’s sad you have conflicts with your auntie, whenever my auntie comes to town my mother is always upset when she leaves because she wishes she could live in Vancouver with her. Then my mom gets stressed out and that makes me stressed.
-Sara Burridge
Conflict doesn't just involve negativity. There came a point in my life where I wanted to be independent (like most teenagers) and me and my parents got into a huge argument about my behavior. I became annoyed with all the instructions being thrown at me and I would reply with snappy remarks, selective hearing, and the famous slamming doors. I had no idea why I was acting the way I was. I love my parents. I hate talking about feelings. I'd rather write exams. After a while we finally sat down as a family and worked through the problems and I was allowed to stay out late and have my own set of house keys. In the end I was happy and my parents were happy to deal with a happy kid than a miserable one. My parents also realized that is was time to give me more freedom and I was growing up. They needed to stop suffocating me. In the end we were both happy and learned something from the conflict. It is always difficult to deal with conflict but I cannot stress how much better you feel after it is resolved. This is just one of many conflict situations I could tell you about that the end result was positive. However, not every conflict can be resolved positively. If a conflict doesn't end positively I believe you should forget about it. Life is too short to be depressed on conflicts the other person doesn't wan to fix. Focus on the conflicts that ended well and be happy. If that person doesn't want to resolve a conflict with you than that person truly doesn't care about your relationship.
ReplyDelete~Keisha Mckenzie
Hi Keisha,
DeleteThanks for sharing an example of a conflict that was resolved positively! I wonder if a person who doesn't want to resolve a conflict is actually a person who doesn't know HOW to resolve a conflict?
Cheers,
TLL
Keisha,
DeleteI personally agree with many if not all the things you discussed in your comment. Most arguments I have with my parents end positively, we come to a conclusion that works for everyone. It all comes down to give and take right? Although when it comes to the conflicts that don't end positively I believe that you shouldn't just "forgive and forget", forgive, yes of course, but not forget. I think that everyone can learn from their mistakes and that if you take steps to fix the problem then it should be a problem anymore. Great story. It was very relatable.
-Sydney
Some conflict aren’t always bad, a good conflict could be picking a movie or who is paying the bill. I have these types of conflicts with my boyfriend all the time. When my boyfriend and I are hanging out and I have to go put on my makeup he always says I don’t need it but I believe I do. When I decide against putting on makeup he always says I look beautiful but then I feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day. Some bad conflicts I have in my life is ones I have with myself like should I put on makeup, should I look nice or should I dress comfortably. A major one I have with my self is should I even get out of bed today?
ReplyDelete-Sara Burridge
Hi Sara,
DeleteThanks for sharing this example. You make a good point in that a conflict could be about choosing something fun to do. When would that conflict become negative?
Cheers,
TLL
Conflict can be a disagreement through which the parties involved distinguish a threat to their needs, interests or concerns. An argument is a series of statements typically used to persuade someone of something or to present reasons for accepting a conclusion. Fighting is a purposeful violent conflict to weaken, to show who’s more dominant, or kill the opposition, or to drive the opposition away from a location where it is not wanted or needed. An argument is usually verbal while fighting is more physical most times. Conflict can be caused when people compete for the same resources, can occur between religious beliefs because the group is eager to spread a particular belief and even enforce it on others. Some leaders may aggravate religious and political differences as part of their tactics for keeping or gaining power. Personal conflicts, such as personal attacks, are never healthy because they cause stress and distress, but conflicts aren’t all bad in fact it can be healthy and at times are necessary. Conflict can be positive and end in a good way. When the conflict is positive you could understand where the person is coming from, improve quality of discussions, test positions and beliefs, find new ideas, solutions and alternatives and much more. Conflict is a part of human nature, without it people wouldn’t be able to understand each other correctly. Not everyone can agree with each other all the time.
ReplyDeleteSabrina
Hi Sabrina,
DeleteGreat point about personal attacks not being healthy while conflicts that are not associated with attacks can be positive.
Cheers,
TLL
There are so many aspects of conflicts in people’s lives, from small things like a decision about what to eat for breakfast to the extreme of being abused by your spouse. So many little things cause conflict, here is a story about a fight I got in with my boyfriend over something so small and how we got past it. This New Year’s Eve I stayed with a friend’s house while my boyfriend was on vacation in Hawaii. We had talked about our plans, I told him that I was planning on hanging out with friends, nothing big, just a casual gathering. He was fine with my plans and was happy to hear that I wouldn’t be partying. That night my friends decided to go to a party up in the Hart, of course I tagged along as I didn’t want to be left alone at someone else’s house on new year’s and even though I tried to convince them to stay I wasn’t getting anywhere with the argument. The four of us took a cab up to the Hart and I made the mistake of not telling my boyfriend what I was doing and where I was going. He then called me while I was on my way to the part when I answered I mistakenly told him that I couldn’t talk because I was in a taxi. At that point he was angry! Rightfully so. I refrained from speaking to him until I got back to my friend’s house after the party. Of course he was mad when I finally called him and explained that I was safe and just having fun, at that point he had calmed down a little bit until I told him that there were 300 people that and it got shut down by police due to illegal activity of other people. My friends and I only ended up being there for maybe an hour before we left. After we talked more the next morning he explained to me that if I had only told him what I was doing there would have been no issues, but only that he was worried about my safety. This experience has taught me that with even the slightest communication error things can go sideways fast.
ReplyDeleteSydney
Hi Sydney,
DeleteThanks for sharing your story. As you have noted, communication difficulties can be the source of conflict. It sounds like talking it out worked well for you.
Cheers,
TLL
I can relate to this so much. I find miscommunication is the most common factor leading to conflict. Especially if it's over the phone or text because you can't see the expression on the other persons face or tell exactly what they mean by what they said. Great example!
Delete-Courtney K
I don’t feel that conflict can always be negative. I feel that conflict can be positive. Conflict is something that can push us forward. It can make us a better person and show us who we really are. Conflict can be good or bad it all depends on the situation and how you deal with it.
ReplyDelete-BreeAnna MacDonald
Thanks BreeAnna. It seems that you are able to see the positive and negative in conflict. I wonder when conflict becomes negative?
DeleteI couldn't agree more.
Delete- Carly Woods
I agree with this. we can learn something for whatever it is and it can make us a better person.
Delete- Beverly Hindmarch
Not all conflict can be negative. Depending on the situation some conflicts can help us grow as a person. For example, if we someone was getting hurt in relationships and didn’t learn anything about it, they would keep going back to the person who was causing all the conflicts instead of realizing that there are better people out there. If there were no conflicts in the world, then we wouldn’t learn anything from them. So some conflicts can help you in the long run.
ReplyDelete-Rylan Watson
Thanks for the insight Rylan. I like how you tie your response to a concrete example.
DeleteI agree with you Rylan, conflicts help us grow and evolve as a person. Without learning from your past conflicts, you would be the same naïve person, right? -Amanda Jackson
DeleteThere are many different ways of being in a conflict from physical fighting to being in a simple argument. This also means that not all conflict is bad. Conflicts involving discrimination issues tend to be negative or bad conflict. But things like deciding who pays the bill or deciding who holds open the door are examples of good conflict where more often than not it ends in a positive way.
ReplyDelete-Sydney
Conflict is not always negative. In order for the world to improve, and people to learn to be a better person you need some conflict. Conflict forces people to think about things in a different way. It can help people to change with open minds. Conflict has formed what people believe is right and wrong, and given standards to people to make things great. Good conflict can raise awareness of important issues so that they can be addressed. Understanding interests, viewpoints, and concerns that are gathered from conflicts enables you to examine situations in an objective manner, leading you to solutions and success.
ReplyDeleteTracey Tiani
Conflict has been a huge part of my life for almost eighteen years running. From finance issues to sever depression, my family has been through it all, not once, not twice, but time and time again. In my opinion, conflict is a disagreement, argument, or issue that can be between other people, nature, objects, or yourself. My initial reaction to conflict is to automatically defend myself or my belief in the subject, or if it’s with nature or an object, I get instantly angry. I believe it’s the same way for the majority of people to react this way as well because I have personally observed it on several occasions. Conflict is usually caused by jealousy, defiance, disagreement, assumptions, or can be caused by an overall bad mood. The most common emotions associated with conflict would be anger, denial, and sadness. When it comes to unresolved conflict, the emotions are of more anger and sadness and a closed off mind to the solution of the conflict, due to the emotions taking over. Resolved conflict on the other hand, ends in emotions of relief and eventually being content with the previous situation. Many people confuse fights with arguments or vice versa, but the two are actually fairly different. A fight is of overpowering emotions, heightened tone of voice, and sometimes violence. An argument is pure disagreement that is talked about calmly and more maturely, usually ending in agreeing to disagree without leading to a fight. This would be a perfect example of a conflict with a good ending, because it did not lead to violence nor long time negative effects. Although conflict can get ugly and out of hand, we wouldn’t be able to live without it. Everything needs something to counteract it, to make an equilibrium. We would not know happiness and kindness if we did not know the emotions associated with conflict.
ReplyDeleteCourtney Kennett
Conflict is something that happens between two or more people. Sometime we ask for it by the actions we do. But other times you just get pulled into something you didn’t ask for you. Conflicts can become violent when things get out of hand. A few months ago me and my brother were home for a bit waiting for our dad, and he kept asking me about his headphones. I had a few days ago given them to a friend when she needed them. I said that I would get them back but he just kept asking me and making a big deal about it and wouldn’t let it go. So finally I said that I heard him the first time and he’ll get them back when I get them back and just ignored him afterwards. And because I was ignoring him he took it too far and things got out of hand. Let’s just say he what he did physically hurt me and I had to walk out of the house because I couldn’t be near him. All because I hadn’t got his headphones back. Some people take small things and make them into bigger deals than what they are. I think that some conflicts can be bad or that they turn bad. You or the other can be hurt, whether that’s emotionally or physically. Conflicts can happen for any reason. Out of jealousy, or a disagreement, misunderstanding. Be the first to apologizing and make things right.
ReplyDelete- Beverly Hindmarch